So, Hi!!! I’m back!
I decided I wanted to share a little something about myself. Why not choose my successes and my failures? I mean, we all have them right? Some of us like to talk about them, some like to acknowledge them here and there, and some are SWORN to secrecy they will never tell their successes…. ESPECIALLY their failures. I’m just here to say WE ARE HUMAN. We are bound to have them if we simply try or put effort towards the simplest thing.
I will start with my failures. (Let’s get to it!)
1. Trying to change someone.
This guy friend that I had, he was actually “No Good.” I saw something in him that I knew was beyond great. Our friendship was a little weird at times but I saw a great guy in my eyes. He was smart, well-rounded, cute, had a way with words…etc. I knew he would make the worst choices and I constantly questioned him about it. His answer was forever, “That’s for me to know; blah blah” Throughout our friendship, I pushed him to be a better person and I wanted him to be the person with the potential that I saw. That was my biggest failure. He was not that person. I had conjured up this person in my head from what I saw he could be. I tried to change him. And change ultimately comes from within. I could question, influence, spend my time, buy, treat, or anything for him and he was still the same person. It’s like dressing up this mannequin, treating it like it’s a human and expecting it to start exuding these humanistic traits…. when in the end you forgot it was a mannequin to begin with.
2. Trying to flirt….too hard.
I was in middle school. I had this crush on my neighbor. (He was so cute in our awkward years.) Anyway, he had gotten locked out of his house and came to sit at MY house after school. It was no problem for my parents. We sat at the table doing our homework. (By homework I mean, I was sitting there with my homework out and smiling at him in the meantime. I don’t think he noticed it very much.) I got up from the table to grab a drink and I thought it was time to strut my stuff. I took a step or two and my sandal slipped. I flew up in the air and it seemed like a Matrix moment because it took forever for me to finally hit the ground. When I hit the nice cold tiled floor, he jumped up from the table and ran to get my parents. I mean, HE LEFT ME LAYING THERE! My parents came running and my Dad was frantic. He helped me up. My Mom thought it was hilarious. My neighbor just sat with this expression of awe on his face. I didn’t live it down either.
3. Taking a large course load.
I was in the first semester of my junior year. I was trying to stay on the course schedule my school had provided. I took 4 science classes (Genetics, Organic Chemistry 1, Physics, and Human Anatomy) along with 2 electives. This equaled 22 hours. I remember the day that my parents sat me down and tried to convince me not to do it. I knew at that time that I was capable and ready to take on such a task. I told them, “They didn’t believe in me; they didn’t have faith in me; I am going to do this FOR ME.” THAT semester, in walked a bad relationship, family issues, a health scare (I almost died), and trying to maintain a social life and work. I failed. I didn’t even pass the electives. That sent my GPA plummeting. It was so hard to recover from that. But I ended up pulling through in the end.
THIS LEADS IN TO MY SUCCESSES!!
1. Learning to take life as it comes.
I have always been a planner… like to the T. From the time I was 16, I had planned my life out to age 25. Man, IF I could tell you the peaks, valleys, twists, and lines that I have experienced; I’m sure you would ask, “What the HELL happened?” But I learned through God and those situations to take life as it comes. I tend to get overwhelmed at times (don’t get me wrong). BUT for the most part, I take life as it comes. I mean, I feel a bit freer. I sleep better. I enjoy moments especially the simple ones. I laugh more. I enjoy the people I’m around. I look better too! It’s something that everyone has to learn at some point in life.
2. Conquering my fears.
I had several fears in my life. My top fears were heights, worrying, and being vulnerable. I’ll sub-categorize these really quickly.
a. Heights: I was scared to stand on a chair. After a severe fall when I was little, you NEVER had to worry about me being too high off the ground or even off the ground. I had to get over that. One day, I went to a ropes course and broke that fear. DETERMINATION IS A BEAST!!!
b. I mean, worrywart should have been my middle name if not my first. I worried if someone didn’t text or call by a certain time. I worried about everything not going perfect. I worried about a stain getting on clothes. I learned that worrying causes a lot of issues!!! I mean internal and external bodily issues, extra stress, and all that stuff. I decided one day it was my time to get through it. I was patient with myself and I worked hard to pass this test in my life. My worrying is not at all as high as it used to be but I do it occasionally. Otherwise…. I’m good.
c. Being vulnerable. Don’t we all hate this?!?! I was forced in to it. A guy that I was in a relationship with came and shook my life up. You know, that one person that comes in and shakes your world apart and leaves when they’re done? Yeah that was him. He pretty much forced me to be vulnerable and open up. He wanted to get to know the REAL me; not the me that I let everyone see. He literally ripped my life to shreds and after a certain point I allowed it. What I thought I knew, wanted, and needed at that time began to be questioned. In my life, I spent a couple of years in limbo. At times, it was terrible. At times, it was good. At times, it was great. But I learned a valuable lesson. I learned to love myself. I learned to decide what I really wanted for me. I learned to hold myself accountable for things in my life. I learned that it is okay to be vulnerable (just choose the right people to be vulnerable with). With that, I can be vulnerable with the people in my life and enjoy it. To him… thank you.
3. I can do anything I put my mind to. (You can too!!)
I have been very artsy and open. I have tried several things. I suck as a fashion person. I think that I missed that phase in life. BUT when I dress and try something a little different, I get compliments. My blog may only have one reader but I hope it makes a difference in their life. I am not the best dancer. Literally I count while I dance (like on the Wade Robson Project), but everyone tells me I can dance well. I think it’s the little things that can make success for you a success. You can determine that,
Want to share your successes and failures?
Feel free to comment!! This is a NO JUDGEMENT zone!